'Perspective'
What do you really look like? How do you really act? Who are you?
Knowing you will only ever experience your reflection in a mirror can become frustrating. For me, this painting depicts a relief of the urge to find true self reflection. Sometimes I'd just like to rip out my eyes and see for myself.
I also wanted to paint how, in this modern world, we frequently exercise a shallow self reflection. A minority of us truly look inside ourselves, the majority spend time worrying and observing their appearance from the outside, blind to their personality and mind.
I finished this painting in 2023.
It actually took me an entire year to complete. Not a year straight. Life just got in the way and I deemed my art as less important.
I was moving my family home and studying my Psychology degree in University at this time. And I was feeling pretty lost. I knew who I was at present but I didn’t know what to do for my future.
When the idea for this piece was born, I had written ‘Finding Yourself’ at the top of a page in my sketchbook.
I came up with countless ideas but as soon as I drew this one it made total sense.
For me, it perfectly depicts the frustration I sometimes feel when I look in the mirror. I cannot comprehend how I will live my entire life having never truly seen myself.
When we view others we don’t just see a face staring us in the eye like we do in a mirror.
We see their eyes sparkle as they speak about their passions.
We look at the side of their face and see the corner of their lips twitch as they read something funny.
We see the shimmer on their cheekbones in the sun and the little wrinkles they get in between their brows when they’re concentrating.
Faces, personalities, and body expressions are all dynamic and subjective. Something we can never view for ourselves.
I hold a certain frustration for this.
I always seem to ask myself “who am I, really?”
And I guess I’ll never know.
For those of you that love a time lapse, play the video below to watch me paint this piece from start to finish.